I love the picture. The poem is okay, but think about playing with the word placement a bit more. I really like the idea of using blank space as part of your poem. Okay, so I'm spewing advise here. Blah! I think that I just got turned off because the word sinew reminded me of swine & I thought of that pig. Eww! Let me read it again... I get it. I can feel the shortness in the feelings at the end, kind of a staccato.
Sorry about the pig. You see what I mean. Its a good poem but I read it after the pig comment & its stuck. By the way, I'm sure that you have noticed that most of my poetry is dark & brooding, much like this... actually I have written many just like this one. & 'he' sucks!
I love the picture. The poem is okay, but think about playing with the word placement a bit more. I really like the idea of using blank space as part of your poem. Okay, so I'm spewing advise here. Blah! I think that I just got turned off because the word sinew reminded me of swine & I thought of that pig. Eww! Let me read it again...
ReplyDeleteI get it. I can feel the shortness in the feelings at the end, kind of a staccato.
Bahahaha! Ewwww now I can't stop thinking of the pig! Ha
ReplyDeleteSorry about the pig. You see what I mean. Its a good poem but I read it after the pig comment & its stuck. By the way, I'm sure that you have noticed that most of my poetry is dark & brooding, much like this... actually I have written many just like this one. & 'he' sucks!
ReplyDeleteI like this one and agree with Melanie Ann. The picture makes a thousand words run through my head. :)
ReplyDelete